3:24 p.m. - 2002-03-19
you create the feeling, I contain the need, you sustain the rhythm, I'll maintain the beat
say you love me, as you pull the trigger
I take a slow drag and the smoke is filling my lungs. for a moment there, my vision is blurry and I feel sick, the smoke inside my lungs is warming and comforting. suddenly, I cough and spit out this small chunk of bloody flesh. a cold wave of fear goes all through my body and my knees are weak and shaking I collapse on the floor, about to faint. I dump the smoke and wipe my mouth. it doesn't end there. I start coughing again and all my attempts to take a big breath fail since there's an even bigger chunk of flesh in my throat, blocking the oxygen. I can't believe this, this is how I''m supposed to die? choke on my own flesh? I fight the nausea and stick my fingers inside my throat, try to pull the piece of meat out and instead I wind up throwing up, only the vomit doesn't come out, as my throat is blocked. I finally manage to pull it out and a huge flow of blood and vomit comes out of my mouth, I cough and gag and spit out yesterday's dinner along with pieces of my own lungs.
I smoke too much
